No Going Back
by Ticklesivory
Summary: OBIDALA Post TPM, Pre AOTC. ObiWan refuses to acknowledge his love for Padme until her life is in danger.
1. Chapter 1

No Going Back 

Chapter One

She was a tower of strength. A formidable opponent - as the Trade Federation had discovered firsthand. And she was only 18 years of age.

Obi-Wan stood amidst the celebration occurring on the steps of the Theed palace, admiring the young and powerful Queen of Naboo as she addressed the Gungan leader. It was due to her determination that Naboo and its inhabitants were safe. Even after years of Jedi training and he himself only being 24 years of age, Obi-Wan felt his own strength was not much greater than this young queen's.

There she sat, appearing rigid and uncomfortable in her velvet gown and heavily adorned face and hair. Her eyes passed to and fro around the long marble dining table, taking in various conversations and glances from the numerous celebration guests she had graciously invited for dinner. Obi-Wan was one of them. He could not take his eyes off of her. He found himself drawn to her -- her composure, her strength, her beauty -- all of it wrapped up in layers of dark green velvet.

Queen Amidala could not help but feel a little uncomfortable under the steady stare of the young Jedi seated far down the table on her right. She motioned to her handmaiden Sabe to approach.

"No, nothing, mi'lady. There's nothing there." Sabe assured her.

Padme had asked her to make sure that she did not have food on her face or dress to cause the Jedi to stare at her so. Padme had been raised to look people in the eye and not to back down to a threat, but for some reason, she could not look this young Jedi in the face, and her eyes immediately fell down to her plate, a pale pink blush rushing into her heavily painted face.

"What is it mi'lady? What's bothering you?" Corde approached the young queen as she sat in front of her dressing table, removing her makeup.

"Nothing, Corde. She sat contemplating the evening and then turned to the young handmaiden. "That young Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Did you notice him staring at me all evening?"

"I'm sorry mi'lady, I did not."

"Well, he was. What do you think offended him?"

"I do not think offence was the reason he was staring, mi'lady." Corde grinned as she began to put away the queen's clothing.

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps the young Jedi is smitten."

"Be serious."

"I am, mi'lady. And if you will remember, you barely ate a bite all evening."

Padme recalled being ravenous before the meal, but suddenly realized that she hadn't touched a thing on her plate. The eyes of the Jedi upon her had distracted her enough for her to completely forget about her appetite. A sudden gnawing sensation in her empty stomach was a quick reminder that she hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Corde, I'm going to the kitchen to get a bite to eat."

"Do you wish for me to accompany you mi'lady?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Padme made her way through the shadowy halls of the palace, occasionally meeting a security guard who assumed her to be a handmaiden and thought nothing of the young lady wandering the palace alone. She exited the large dining area heading toward the kitchen, when she noticed a lone figure on the balcony beyond the open glass doors. It was the young Jedi himself. Padme approached the doorway for a better look. He stood close to the balcony edge, his feet spread shoulder width apart, his hands clasped behind his back. She could not see his face, but it was obvious that he was deep in thought and did not sense her presence, or so she thought. He suddenly turned and she felt his eyes upon her once more.

"Excuse me. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's okay your Highness. If you wouldn't mind, I would prefer some company right now."

Padme could not help but notice something different about his eyes. He was in obvious pain due to the recent loss of his mentor, Master Qui-Gon. There had been so much occurring in the past few days, that she had not stopped to consider the effect the death of the older Jedi would have on him. She was desperately thinking of something to say in order to comfort him.

"I hope you find your quarters here in the palace comfortable." was all she could think of.

"Yes, quite. Thank you." He replied courteously as he approached her. "Would you care to have a seat?" He motioned to a long intricately carved stone bench.

The silence between them lasted for a brief period before Padme broke it. "I'm...I'm so sorry about Master Qui-Gon. He and I did not quite see eye to eye, but he will be missed."

The young Jedi bowed his head for a moment. Her perception had been correct. He was indeed mourning the loss.

"He was more than just a Master, your Highness. He was my mentor and my friend. I've known him all my life. In a way, he was like my father."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you two were that close. You seemed to often be at odds with one another."

"It might have appeared that way, but during the course of Jedi training, a mentor has a responsibility of exposing and correcting any fault in their padawan. It may come across as being overly critical but Qui-Gon was a wise Master and a powerful Jedi. I was fortunate to have been trained by him."

"As long as you remember him, he is not gone. Not really."

Obi-Wan trembled at the unexpected touch of the queen's hand on his knee.

"I..." he stammered. "I want to apologize for my behavior during dinner. It was not right for me to stare at you the way I did. But you have this aura of strength about you. I was trying to figure it out."

"I'm not so strong."

"Oh, but you're wrong Padme. I've been all over the universe and have met and dealt with leaders and royalty of all ages and races. I have never met anyone with the strength and wisdom you possess at your age."

Padme turned to face him, surprised at hearing him say her name. She didn't consider it disrespectful, but found herself pleased that he felt comfortable enough with her to see past her position and view her as a friend.

"You don't realize how hard it's been Obi-Wan. When I decided to return to Naboo to fight for its freedom, I was scared to death. But I just couldn't let the Trade Federation win. As the elected queen, it was my duty to make sure my people were safe. I had no choice. And it did help knowing that I had the assistance of two very brave Jedi Knights."

"You'll always have my assistance, whenever you need it. I want you to know that." Padme shuddered as his strong hand clasped over hers.

For the rest of the evening, the couple either sat or strolled along the balcony and besides one interruption from Corde who was concerned with the queen's whereabouts, their evening was spent in conversation. Obi-Wan shared with her his fears and hopes and Padme spoke of her past, future aspirations, and own fears. As the morning sun peeked through the distant hills of Theed, Padme felt a void in her life being filled, which she had previously not realized even existed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two 

Startled, Obi-Wan quickly sat upright on his cot. This was the third night in a row he had dreamed about the young queen. Those deep brown eyes and flowing dark curls were haunting his dreams and he could not understand why. It had been six months since he had left Naboo and resumed his duties as Keeper of the Peace. There was an emptiness in him that he had never experienced. And now the responsibilites of taking on a padawan of his own, young Anakin, only added to his stress. A frown deeply furrowing his brow, Obi-Wan glanced through the shadows of the Jedi sleeping chamber to view the young blonde-headed boy deep in sleep. "At least someone can get some rest tonight."

Obi-Wan leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. His thoughts immediately went back to a pair of brown eyes, a soft reassuring voice, and a small hand grasping his knee. She had been such a comfort to him during his time of mourning and he discovered to his amazement that he missed her, and he began to wonder when he would see her again.

The sleek silver of the Nubian vessel reflected the evening lights of Coruscant as Senator Amidala's ship landed. As she took her place among the hundreds of beings respresenting all systems of the Republic, there were those who scoffed and ridiculed the idea of such a young woman being considered for such a high office. Murmurs were heard all over the dome shaped room until being quieted by the booming voice of Mas Amedda.

Obi-Wan's light saber flashed and sparked as it made contact with his younger padawan's. After only three years of training, Anakin was showing great promise. "Reach out with the force, young one. Use your feelings. Don't trust your eyes, they will fool you." Their light sabers struck again and Obi-Wan let out a loud yelp, immediately placing his burned fingers into his mouth. "I'm sorry Master." Young Anakin replied.

What the Force had happened? He had completely lost his concentration! Just then, the vision of a silver ship opening its hatch and a beautiful young Senator exiting it entered his mind. Padme! She was here on Coruscant!

"If you do not need anything else, mi'lady, I'm going to retire for the evening."

"Thank you Corde. I'm fine. I'm just going to read a bit and then turn in myself."

The door chime sounded a few minutes later and Padme went to view the security screen. It was one of her own guards and behind him, she could see the outline of a dark brown Jedi robe. Her heart suddenly skipped a beat.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi to see you, Senator."

"Thank you, lieutenant. Please allow him in."

After a short bow, a smile spread across the handsome Jedi's face. "I hope it's not too late to call, senator."

"Not at all. Please...please, come sit down." Padme had a difficult time trying to make her voice sound less excited than she actually was.

"Congratulations on your election, Padme. I think you will make a great senator."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. I hope that I can serve as well I hope to."

Obi-Wan returned her smile and could not help but to notice exactly where her hands were at that moment. One was lying casually in her lap, but the other was close enough to his leg that he could feel its warmth. His eyes then took in the sight of her. Her gown was a deep purple and fit snugly starting at her waist. Gold braiding crossed the bodice and outlined her bare upper chest and neck. Her hair was pulled back away from her face by a matching gold band, and her long curls fell across her neck and hung down to the swell of her breasts. He sat in stunned silence as her fragrance began washing over him as well. She smelled like lavender. All of his senses were under attack and he felt so overwhelmed that he had lost his power to speak.

Padme, being somewhat confused and noticing his sudden discomfort, quickly thought of something to say in order to break the awkward silence. "I hear you are a Master Jedi now, and that you have your own apprentice. That young boy. What's his name?"

"Uhm..." Obi-wan's mouth all at once felt extremely dry. "Anakin."

"Oh, yes," she continued. "How is he coming with his training?"

"Fine." Obi-Wan suddenly could not think or speak correctly. Her scent, her beauty, her voice, were clouding his mind and affecting his actions. He began to wonder if he could even rise to stand, much less, walk.

Padme looked at him with concern. "Obi-wan?"

The young Jedi quickly rose from his seat, excused himself by saying good night and exited the room, leaving Padme sitting perplexed and alone.

Once in the hallway, Obi-Wan's back thumped against the wall. His breath was ragged and the words of the Jedi code kept ringing in his ears..."A Jedi shall not know love." This was a huge mistake. He shouldn't have come to see her. He obviously cannot risk to see her again. With a sharp pain stabbing his heart, Obi-Wan entered the downgoing elevator, determined never to see Padme Amidala again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

"But Master Yoda, isn't her own security adequate enough to protect her?"

It was Master Windu who answered his query. "The council has made its decision, Obi-Wan. You are to go to Naboo and protect the senator. Anakin will stay here to continue his training. Senator Amidala has made enemies on the Senate as well as her own planet. It is your job to protect her and discover the source of this most recent death threat."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan's heart sank as he turned to leave.

Padme silently strolled from the living area to the large windowed den facing the main street of Theed. Her Senator's home was not quite as spacious as the palace, but it was very comfortable and located near to the main hub of Theed, as well as in sight of the palace.

She looked out onto the long balcony overlooking the main street to see her assigned Jedi protector there in meditation. It had been two days since Obi-Wan had arrived, and other than an informal greeting, he had barely spoken to her.

Padme was confused and although she hated to admit it, she was hurt.

Corde approached her unaware. "He takes his job very seriously, that one does." She commented, looking out onto the balcony herself. "I'm glad he's here."

"I'm not so sure he is."

"What do mean, mi'lady?"

"Something has changed. I thought we had become friends. He doesn't even speak to me any more."

Padme could not help but notice the wry grin appearing on her handmaiden's face.

"Stop that, Corde. He doesn't have feelings for me. He couldn't. He's a Jedi."

"Even Jedi deserve to be loved, mi'lady."

It was when Corde spoke the word love, that Padme began to realize that the hurt she was experiencing, the emptiness that had been filling her life for the past couple of years, were due to this man standing just a few feet away from her now. She was in love. She was in love with a Jedi Knight. And tears threatened to fall as she realized her love could never be returned.

"It's such a beautiful day, Sabe. I'm going out for a walk in the garden."

Padme had awakened in an almost depressed state, her night's dreams of Obi-Wan haunting her awakening consciousness. She was determined however, to improve her spirits, and decided a walk in the gardens behind her residence would boost her spirits.

Her feet stepped lightly on the cobblestone path as her hand trailed along the flowering vines that literally reached the top of the house. The roses were in full bloom and Padme took a deep breath, inhaling their intoxicating fragrance. This was a good idea, she thought as she indeed felt her mood improve. It was then, as she walked past a stand of tall pallian fruit trees, that she saw him. She had not seen him since yesterday afternoon, and she did not wish to see him now. It was too late for retreat, for his head had come up and his eyes were looking directly into her own.

Why must it be this way? It's just not fair! Her heart ached inside her chest. Ask him and know, she heard a whispering voice tickle her ear. Padme clenched her fists in determination and walked toward him.

"What have I done to you to deserve this treatment? Tell me! I want to know. Now!"

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise at the outburst of the petite young woman standing just inches away from him.

"I'm...I'm sorry." He stammered. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't give me that! You know what you've been doing.Youwere oncefriendly to me...and I enjoyed your company. Then all of a sudden, you are cold and distant. You haven't spoken three words to me since you came here! Why?"

"Please, Padme."

"No, Obi-Wan. I want to know why. I have to know." Padme's eyes threatened to spill over with unshed tears.

"Oh, Padme." Obi-Wan took her lovingly into his arms and held her gently as Padme's tears fell onto the rough fabric of his robe. "We must talk." He motioned to a low ornate bench.

After they both sat facing each other and grasping her hands, obi-Wan continued. "I have developed feelings for you -- feelings that I'm not allowed to have. When I was given this assignment, I thought it would best if I distanced myself from you. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. But I can't -- we just can't be together. I've made a vow to the Jedi Order. I have to abide by it. I'm sorry." He picked up her hands and placed a kiss to her soft knuckles before rising to leave, unable to look at her tear-streaked face.

After distancing himself a few hundred feet from her, Obi-Wan felt a disturbance in the Force. He ignited his light saber and several black ropes came swinging over the stone wall surrounding the garden. He then heard Padme scream his name and turned to see the garden filled with the rough and dirty men, each holding a blaster aimed at him, and one especially fierce-looking one holding a blaster at Padme's head. "Back off Jedi," he hissed.

Obi-Wan quickly contemplated his options. With at least a dozen blasters pointed at him and one at Padme, there weren't many choices. He switched his light saber off.

The apparent leader smirked at him before grabbing a dangling rope that was attached to a craft now hovering directly overhead. With blasters still aiming at him and Padme, Obi-Wan stood helpless as he watched the craft disappear over the tops of the Theed buildings. After she was out of his sight however, each of the grungy-looking men found themselves meeting their deaths due to a lightning fast light saber.

Yelling commands throughout the Senator's household, Obi-Wan rushed onto the streets of Theed and jumped into his awaiting speeder. The Force was leading him out of the city and into the jungles of Theed. She was safe, for the moment.

Padme's mind quickly recounted her disaster and combat training techniques. She was dangling several hundred feet above the ground in the smelly arms of an obvious disgruntled spice miner, who held her and a blaster with one arm, and the rope with the other. There weren't too many choices, and she could not recall any combat techniques for this particular scenario. Best to wait and see where they take me, she decided.

She was soon lowered into the mouth of a cave blasted into a tall rocky cliff. Once her feet hit solid ground, she attempted to bolt, only to be held strongly by the leader who roughly jerked her back to him. "You're not going anywhere, my lovely." He snarled. "Take her to the pit!"

Roughly handled by three other members of the group, Padme soon found herself standing on a steel walkway. A glance down on either side revealed nothing but darkness. The men left her there, walked over to a control panel on the far wall and flipped a switch. Padme shuddered as the walkway began to retract. She backed up until her back bumped against cold damp stone and then the walkway stopped moving. "That should keep you put, your Highness." one of the men sneered.

Padme kicked a nearby pebble off the walkway and counted at least five seconds before she heard it hit stone. There was no escape that way, she thought. The walls of the cave were too damp to climb, and the floor on either side too far away to jump to. A twinge of fear crept up her as she slid down to a crouched position. "Obi-wan, help me." She whimpered into the damp and dripping darkness.

Obi-Wan stood standing on the jungle floor staring up to the broad mouth of a rocky cave. Soon, he was grasping onto a hanging vine and hand over hand, scrambling onto the rocky outcropping and climbed until he reached the entrance. His entry was met by four miners, each holding blasters. "Hand it over, Jedi." Obi-Wan reluctantly gave his light saber to one of the men. He couldn't risk an attack until he was sure Padme was safe.

He was taken to the leader, a man calling himself Dalla the Black.

"So, Jedi Knight." the man sneered. "What do have to offer in exchange for our pretty senator."

"I have nothing to offer you, except your lives."

One of the roughians attempted to hit Obi-Wan with the handle of his blaster, only to be Force pushed into a cave wall. Two others immediately lifted their blasters and aimed at the Jedi's head.

"Ut!" the leader cried, holding up his hand. Turning back to Obi-Wan, he glared. "Mind your Force ways, Jedi, or you won't see her alive again."

"She is alive, then?"

"Yes, but not for long, if we don't get what we want."

"And what is it you want?"

A fellow miner bent down to Dalla and whispered something of interest in his ear. Obi-Wan used the Force to listen and distinctly heard, "Lord Tyranus says to keep her here until further orders."

Dalla roughly waved away his companion and turned back to the Jedi.

"We want one million in Republic credits, and a 50 percent increase for our trade contracts."

"Granted." Obi-Wan simply stated. "Now let me see the senator."

Dalla's pale blue eyes squinted at the Jedi before turning to his companions. "Take him to the pit, but keep your eyes on him."

Obi-Wan's plan began to fall into order as he noticed that one of the men accompanying him still had possession of his light saber.

Upon entry into the pit chamber, one of the men reached over to a control panel and turned on some dimly glowing green lighting that ran around the walls of the chamber. It was then he saw Padme huddled on a small steel walkway slightly protruding from the wall. Beneath her was nothing but darkness.

In a flash, Obi-Wan had possession of his light saber and the men had lost possession of their lives - two by laser, and two by Force push into the pit. By using the Force, Obi-Wan extended the walkway and then grabbed Padme by the hand.

"Come on, they're on their way." Padme turned to the entrance of the chamber and heard many men's enraged voices echoing down the hall. She quickly followed Obi-Wan's retreating steps down the opposite hall, being careful to not step into the pit that occupied most of the floor space in the room.

They traveled quickly through the darkness, the eerie green lighting cast by the men's lights catching up to them.

"How can you see where you're going? It's pitch black!"

"The Force is guiding me."

"Oh." Padme replied, trying hard not to sound worried.

The path led them straight to an opening in the cliff high above the tree line of the jungle below. Obi-Wan stared downward for a while before making up his mind what to do.

"Wh...what are we going to do now?" Padme stuttered, out of breath.

"Jump."

"What?" And before Padme could voice any opposition, she found herself falling from the cliff, heading straight toward the lush forest tree tops. She was holding onto Obi-Wan for dear life and screaming at the top of her lungs.

During his moment of contemplation on the edge of the cave exit, Obi-Wan had used the Force to create a net from the vines in the jungle canopy below them. Padme found herself bouncing on that net a few seconds later and in her utter amazement, turned to stare at a very humble-looking Jedi beside her.

"Come. We must get you back to the palace where you'll be safe."

"Stop Obi-Wan! I have to rest...just for a minute!" Padme plopped herself down onto a fallen log.

Obi-Wan was in full concentration of the Force, was not out of breath, and to Padme's surprise, was not even sweating.

"Just for a moment, Padme. Our mining friends are not far behind. Here." He opened a small pouch on his utility belt and removed a small pill. "Place this on your tongue. It will quench your thirst."

Padme did not questions him, but did as he said. It helped a great deal.

Obi-Wan now stood a few feet from her, concern for her safety governing his every thought and move. He suddenly held his hand up to her palm out and released a sigh. He visibly relaxed and came over to sit next to her.

"What did you sense?"

"They've gone another way. They apparently lost our trail."

"Thank you."

"I was just doing my job, senator."

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so...Jedi! Do you actually think you can live your entire life without having any feelings for anybody?"

"Jedi are committed to caring for the entire universe, Padme."

"You know what I mean. Caring for an entire universe isn't the same as caring for one person. You can't live your life without loving someone and being loved."

Padme sensed her words had struck a cord, because it had left Obi-Wan speechless for a moment. The only sounds heard were of bugs and birds, and the creaking of tree limbs

Finally, Padme spoke again. "You know, I never was scared when they kidnapped me. I was a little nervous being above that pit, but I wasn't afraid. I knew you would come for me."

Obi-Wan turned to her then and looked into her eyes. "You may not have been afraid Padme, but I was. I didn't know what I would do if they hurt you. I couldn't take it if I lost you. Damn the code, Padme. I love you."

Padme's heart leapt from her chest and into her throat. She opened her mouth to say something, but the sound of approaching speeders and men's voices caused her to jump.

"It's okay. It's your security personnel." Obi-Wan grasped her hand and squeezed it tightly before rising to adequately distance himself from the young senator.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four 

"Apparently the spice miners are being paid by a man they called Lord Tyranus. Does that name mean anything to you Master?"

The holo image of Master Yoda back on Coruscant glowed blue in the darkness of Obi-Wan's guest room. "This Lord Tyranus, we will investigate, Obi-Wan."

Mace Windu also added, "Meanwhile, continue to guard the Senator. We will inform you of our findings."

"Yes Master." And the blue light flickered out.

A shaft of yellow light soon slowly made its way across the floor of Obi-Wan's room. Obi-Wan looked up to see Padme standing in the doorway. The sight of her in a long pink shimmering gown took his breath away.

Padme approached him as she shut the door behind her. Obi-Wan sat on the edge of his bed and his eyes moved up her approaching body until he met her own eyes looking down at him. He placed his hands on her hips and ran his hands over their smooth curves. Her trembling fingers slid the straps of her gown off of her shoulders and then slid the satiny material down her quivering body. Obi-Wan's sat motionless and silent in awe of the display before him. His hands slowly assisted the gown's removal until Padme stood before him completely naked. His hands then slid back up her smooth skin, outlining her legs, her waist, her breasts and then ran the length of her arms. He slowly stood up, running his hands back up her arms and to her face, running his thumbs along her cheekbones, and twisting his fingers into her luxurious hair. Ever so slowly, Obi-Wan lowered his mouth down to hers, placing a feather light kiss upon her lips. Padme gasped into his mouth and breathlessly uttered, "What's happening?" as his lips brushed against hers once again.

Her lips were as soft as silk and her hair felt just as soft as he sunk his hands deeper into its depths. He felt her gasp on his lips and heard her mention the very thing he was wondering himself. Never had he felt anything like this. The satiny smoothness of her, her scent, the sweet honey taste of her mouth. How had he lived without this? And he knew for a fact that now he had experienced it, he couldn't survive without it.

Padme felt faint and her legs could no longer support her. Obi-Wan felt her sway and gently picked her up and placed her on his bed. She shivered as she watched him remove the layers of his Jedi attire. He then lay down next to her, running his hands over her once again, but more intimately this time.

"I love you." She whispered to him in the dark.

"Oh, Padme." And once again he tortured her with a slow and sensual kiss, brushing her lips ever so slightly, nuzzling her neck and nibbling her ear.

The patience of his Jedi training was even evident in his lovemaking! He was driving her wild with passion. Her insides were liquid and it was all pooling to her center. Padme couldn't take it any longer and her hands went to the back of his head, forcing his kisses to become deeper. Obi-Wan audibly groaned as their tongues met.

Obi-Wan's lovemaking was patient, but Padme's passion fueled the fire and it quickly escalated into a maelstrom that threatened to consume them both. And then, it was done. There was no going back for either of them. The Force was assuring itself of that even as they slept with their arms wrapped tightly about each other. It completed them and bound them together in a bond that could never be broken -- not by separation, politics, or the blasted code. They were united, as one, for all eternity.


End file.
